One...Two...Three... ;)

I can still remember the moment I got my pregnancy test ‘positive’ for the very first time…6/6/2008…tu pun after berbatang2 pregnancy test ci dh wat kat umah…badan makin tak larat, muntah…tp still negative…newlywed lagi time tu, baru sebulan lebih akad nikah, ci dh mengandungkan muhammad harith….ci dpt tau waktu ci buat upt kat laboratory uia…ci still igt muka staff yg bg ci result…still igt wajah kaklina yg nangis waktu dapat tau ci pregnen…ci igt suara hubby ci, mak n mak mertua ci waktu ci bgtau tru phone……Sweet…….. ;)

For my 2^nd pregnancy….ci dapat tahu tru home pregnancy test…ci beli dua batang sekali (time promo)…hehehe….test yang first, mmg clearly negative…badan tak rasa apa2, so ci pun tak la mengharap utk pregnant…tppppp…pelik mana pulak pegi ci punya period…huhuhu….so after few days, on 14/2/2010, ci wat upt kat umah mak ci, kat kedah (tgh bercutiii)…and the line was 2….punya la melompat suami isteri nih…heh, mmg kut kami jenis suka anak ramai…time ni, ayit bru masuk setahun..Few hours later, pergi checkup and doc confirmkan ci pregnant 5 weeks…. ;)

After 1 year and 7 months pregnant-free…the same question return, Am I pregnant??? Huhuhuhu….

1 year n 6 months, ci tak period….ci pegi mengurut dgn makcik yg sama mngurut ci utk ayit n tiya…makcik ani pesan ‘lepas ni, jaga jaga ye cici’…ci senyum je la….mmg tak plan utk pregnen any time soon pun…a month after, bru ci period…paranoid, annoyed by period, ci bersyukur takla sakit sgt, walaupun dh bertahun tak datang…

A month after period….it was supposed to be the day, but it never come….

A week….

After a week….

After the following week….

Yes….the question keep coming back….Am I pregnant? ;p

Then, comes the sickness….meloya…cravings….muntah…letih….mengantuk….normal symptoms….lg la buat ci rasa pelik…the most pelik was, kenapa perut ci jd sgtttt bloating…almost buncit… haih….

One thing about cici, selalu rasa ‘pregnancy’ symptom above everything…cthnya, kalo dh muntah, bukan nak fikir salah makan…ci akan fikir ‘ci pegnen kah?’ hahahaha…sooo typical of me… ;p

So, dgn rasa bertanggungjawab, naluri penuh keibuan, ci pun beli pregnancy test…the one yg kita kena drop atas batang…the result was, yes…a double line…tppp line dia sgttttttt SAMAR …I was sooo sure, but the stick say almost a No answer….hmmm….few hours lepas tu, ci pegi kinik, nak sahkan that stick….so, doctor kata, kita buat lg sekali test…..

It was negative…..

Deeeepppp down dlm hati, rasa mcm ‘ehhh, if I’m not pregnant, what’s wrong with me???’…haaaa, dh mula la saspek yg bukan2….cyst la, ovary infection la….haihhh…

Few days after that…on 14^th May 2012….ci decided to test using digital pregnancy test…the one yg tulis pregnant or not pregnant tu…

Here’s the result…….

Never thought in a millon years, ci diberi anugerah utk mengandung lagi sekali…utk kali ketiga dalam hidup ci…..super happy….

Tapi…..

Notice number 1-2 kat stick tu? Itu bgtau yg date conception 1-2 weeks…so kalo kiraan doctor, bru 3-4 minggu baby ci…awalllll sgttt lg….

Ci pun bawak stick ni tunjuk kat doctor ptg yg sama (sbb screen dia maintained tulisan tu 24 hours aje)…Doc kata ‘hmmmm…kita scan la…kalo tak nmpak pape, kita buat test lg skali’

Dup dap dup dap Allah sj yang tahu….

Waktu scan, kantung baby dh ada…tp baby xnmpak pape….ada mcm bnda kecik, tp doc takleh nak pastikan…..so, doctor mintak ci wat test urine lg skali….

The result was double line….still samar, tapi agak clear dr yg memula….

Soklan yg ci tnya doctor ‘Am I still pregnant doc?’ Her answer ‘50/50’ *sigh*

Hmm….ci start makan folic asid n b complex….jaga makan…jaga kesihatan…and live like usual….tanak terlalu mengharap, yet, tanak terlalu free sgt… ;)

Jika ada rezeki ci, dah tertulis….ci tawakal dan redha….

If rezeki ci utk anak ke -3….Alhamdulillah……Tiya, u’re a big sister la….. ;)

The Toughest Job... ;-)

Seronok tgk fb updates seharian nih...kwn2 dpt bunga, dpt hadiah, dpt kad, surprise this n that...terharu yet tumpang happy...i heard yg hari ibu ni xleh celeb sbb meraikan hari kristian (forgot the details)...but hey, we just need a day to celeb the greatness of the toughest job in the world- to b a Mother.... ;-)

Reminding me of my own self...ibu kpd dua org baby yg masih sgt sgt clingy dgn ci siang n mlm...it wasnt an easy job actually...so nk bg credit ckit kt diri sndiri...sbb membesarkan anak2 jauhhhhh dr any support system (families)... ;-)

I gave up rest time...tido yg nyenyak dh jd mcm mustahil...no more outing ke tempat2 yg menyeronokkan tp bkn baby frenly...gave up heels, fancy outfit (skrg pkai baju yg senang nk nyusu ajee)...selalunya akan mkn apa yg anak2 mkn...n no rest after long hours of works....the list is longer but just nk bgtau the situation... :-P

Walau apa punnnn kesusahan yg srg ibu harus lalui...ini yg ci impikan sejak kecik...i want to be a mother....walaupun dlm hari2 teenagers ci yg penuh dgn ketidakpastian, satu shj yg ci pasti, ci nak jd srg ibu....ci even belum boleh bayang siapa suami ci time tu, tp ci dh bayangkan diri ci dukung bayi, main dgn anak2...huhuhu....partly maybe sbb ci anak bongsu, so ci xdak privilege utk jaga adik, sbb tu tingin sangat nak anak sendiri...i just love to b a mother...i need to b one.... ;-)

Here i am today... A strungling mother of two...ibu yg sentiasa paranoid bila apa2 jd kat anak2...yg cepat marah yet cepat pujuk balik...yg akan sentiasa jd tempat utk dipeluk bila majuk...wajah yg terakhir yg anak2 tgk bila nak tido, wajah yg pertama drg tgk bila bangun.... :-)

Ci mula menghargai jasa mak lebihhh bila ci sndiri dah jd mak....dr saat mengandung smpai lah melahirkan....membesar dan mendidik...was not an easy job indeed....

Ci doa, dgn rahmat dan nikmat yg Allah kurniakan kpd ci...dgn amanah yg Allah beri...ci doa utk jadi ibu yg terbaik kpd anak2...supaya bila mereka besar, mereka akan igt dan faham dan kenal siapa ibu di mata mereka.... ;-)

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New Me..... ;)

Dear blog.....sorry sebab pinggirkan kamu forrr such a longgg time.....nak update tak sempat...nak belek pon tak sempat.... *sigh*

But yes, new project will be launch new month....i pray for the best...lepas ni, kena selalu update...kena selalu blogging...kena selaluuu online...yippy... ;)

Bila ada positive push, baru la seronok nak bergerak....

My followers, you'll be reading about me, soon...... ;)

Love all, yours truly; Cici....

Btw, suka layout bru ci tak? Paisleyyy gitewwww... ;)

My charlie n princess tiya.... ;-)

Ayit dah nak masuk 3 tahun bulan Januari ni...Tiya lak dah setahun 2 bulan...masa mmg betul2 'terbang' kan....whooshhh.... ;-)

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Inspired....

Assalammualaikum....

Hello world!!!! ;-)

What a hectic months...what a hectic week!!! Fhewww.... :-P

Weekend ci penuh dgn classes. In fact smlm dgn td pon ada class. Dah separuh nyawa kkdg tu...tp Alhamdulillah, my study went really well. I got full mark utk test siang tadi! Tak sangka jugak. Dalam dok tido setiap kali bkk buku tu...dlm dok ngelat nk bc dgn alasan anak2 kacau...dlm xdak masa nk study n even wat assignment...huhuhu...at least, ci leh letak diri sebaris dgn student lain yg still bujang n muda n ada privilage which is MASA...

Somehow, ci got inspired by kakak2 senior ci yg dh kawen n ada yg berusia dr ci...tp still going strong...probably ci nk inspire married women yg lain; utk berani amik risiko...yes, pengorbanan mmg besar...kita mmg akan penat letih bagai...tp when there's a will, there's always a way.... ;-)

I was a college dropout...wlaupun bkn kna kick kluar, but still ci xberjaya abiskan pelajaran ci. Tu bukan alasan ci utk tidak move on n do nothing about it, kan...yes, i am married with two babies...tp lg lama ci tgu, lg jauh impian ci lari...

I used to b ashamed with myself lpas tgk kenkawan lain dh berjaya. Tp ci sndiri kn faham...aturan Allah sgt hebat.... ;-)

Oh howww i missed my bloggg...Insyallah will find time utk update lagii... ;-)

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Sebenarnya skrg pukul berapa....???

*entry yg sgt berkaitan dgn lost track of time... ;p

Minggu ni merupakan minggu yang agak menjerihkan. Last week dh ada midterm utk MAF, minggu ni midterm utk Stats. Byknya assignments kena buat, Tuhan sj yang tahu.... ;p

No no no, ci tak merungut or anything, just nak meluahkan perasaan letih + mengantuk ci di blog. Memang dh boleh agak benda ni akan jadi, so, konon dh mcm well prepared, which is NOT! ci takk prepare langsungggg... ;(

Nak di jadikan cerita, jam rumah ci rosak (jam dinding)...ci ganti dgn jam comel yg selalu ci letak kat dapur, letak kat dinding kat ruang tamu; pon magically rosak jugak (or habis battery- so tak sure ;p)...ci just ada jam kat handphone, jam hubby and jam tv aje kalo nk check on time...

Penat tak penatnya minggu ni, buat hidup ci sedikit huru-hara...sampai umah dlm pukul 7, solat mandi makan, layan anak2, sembang sepatah dua dgn suami, bf kan tiya, tidokan ayit....selalunya dgn cici sekali yg zzzz...tapi mcm semalam, hubby ci kejut; dia wat kerja n ci akan study smpai kol 4pg...Alhamdulillah, ci still okey, leh maintain momentum kerja n belajar...cuma kena lebih byk catch up- dh byk chapter tertinggal ke belakang...fuh3....

Oh yes, berbalik cerita jam, so kami practically jam-less la for over a month. tatau nape tak pergi beli. bukan nya tak kua umah, tapi bila smpai shopping complex/kedai, mesti lupa jam (tp bnda lain semangat sgt nak igt...huhuhu) ;p

Bila pagi2, dh kelam kabut nak kua umah, bila salah srg anak membuang (yg besarrr), yg srg lg cranky nak mintak dukung, ci automatiknya kna separa jerit kt hubby 'abgggg, dh pukul brapa sbenarnyaaaa nihhhh?'

hahahahaha.....

Unfortunately, penyakit jam rosak dh merebak ke opis ci. Jam besar kat opis dh rosak, setengah jam ke belakang. Kita leh lenggang kangkung wat kerja, skali tgk jam handphone dh lewat. Masakkk!!!! Kerjaaa xsiappp.....huhuhuhu....

I need a clock...a huge one....the one yg kua burung choo-choo tuh....senang ckit bgn pagi buta nak study...huhuhuhu.... ;p

still fully bf tiya......i dont care if ada people tegur bdn ci dh slim melampau sbb ci asyik pump n bf tiya...i dont mind...what i DO mind is, if tiya minum susu yg bukan susu ci, just because ci nak maintain bdn chantekkk...haishhh, soo not fair......

My babies....drg sgt pandai main sama2...kkdg2, kami ibu abah jenguk aje apa drg main dr dapur...ntah apa yg lawak sgt, tergelak2 dua adik beradik nih.... ;p

the most manja...the most clingy...the most jambu... ;p

How Romantic.... ;)

Cici, hubby n anak2 were at Thaqwa just now...last resort of having dinner, since smua kedai yg kami suka tutup, or ramai org sgt...dh anak dua ni, kecik dan lasak, port nak makan pon kna pilih dgn bijak. Kena berbumbung, kna ada air-con, kna ada baby chair, kna tu kna ni...huhuhu...

Okey, sambung cerita....ada family belakang meja kami. Anak2 dh besar panjang. Mak n ayah duduk sblah2. What's cute is, si ayah peluk bahu si mak; sambil sembang dgn anak2....howwww sweet..... ;p

The truth is, ci membesar dgn ayah yg sgt malu nak beromantik dgn mak. Ci jd pelik dan hairan dan teruja tgk kalo parents lain act sgt sweet mcm tu.

Teringat kawan ci cerita parents dia sgt manja cth kalo mlm2 dia sembang lama sgt dgn mak dia, nnti ayah dia dtg 'mak nya, cepat la masuk tido. Ayah takut tido srg'...my jaw droppped...hahaha...parents dia mmg dh biasa gurau senda depan anak2...anak2 pon dh lali tgk...so dgn automatiknya, marriage anak2 pon jd super romantik mcm tu jugak....

How cute.... ;)

I wish my marriage wud b that romantic bila anak2 dh besar...as for now, duduk sebelah2 gesel2 bahu adalah sesuatu yg mustahil bila ada 2 anak kecik yg srg kna pegang dlm babychair takut dia melompat turun dan srg lg kna kejar keliling kedai makan just to feed him roti canai....fhewww... ;p