Love letter from Ibu....to abglong & kakak...

My dear Muhammad Harith,

You're my 1st...the 1st one yg ajar ibu utk menjadi seorang ibu...anugerah pertama yg membesar dlm perut ibu...yg buat ibu muntah pg ptg siang malam....yg ajar ibu sabar utk hadap smua pregnancy sickness....tak susah bersalinkan ayit, sbb ibu tak sempat rasa sakit, ayit dh ada dlm dakapan ibu.....

Semua salah ibu, ayit yg terpaksa tanggung, ibu minta maaf ye...ibu belum reti utk jd ibu....ibu cepat nak marah, kurang nak sabar, ibu emo, ibu cepat melenting....ibu belum reti....tp ibu tau ayit sabar dgn ibu, sbb ayit sayang ibu...walau apa yg ibu dh buat kat ayit, mlm2 ayit tetap cari ibu...... T____T

Ayit....maafkan ibu sbb paksa ayit membesar dgn cepat sbb Tiya dh ada....setahun 7bln ayit dh jd seorang abg....ayit dh terpaksa tolerate dgn ibu n abah n baby tiya....tp ayit good boy, ayit tak byk ragam walaupun sgt manja....ayit faham ibu...w/pun ibu selalu bebel, ayit tau dlm hati, ibu syg ayit....ayit tetap sygkan tiya, tlg ibu jaga tiya, walaupun ayit sndiri lum puas nak bermanja dgn ibu.....

Ibu abah besarkan ayit dlm keadaan yg sgt sederhana...kita tak mewah mcm org yg mewah...kita cuma mewah dgn kasih syg aje....ibu harap bila besar, ayit tak salahkan ibu sbb tak beli smua yg ayit nak....ibu harap ayit besar, ayit tak segan dgr cerita susah senang kita....sbb semua tu berharga buat ibu dan abah.....

Grow up and be brave my dear Ayit....byk dh kita lalui bersama....more to come my son...ibu harap ayit tabah....so that bila ibu dan abah dh tak ada di dunia ni, ayit boleh jaga adik2...mereka semua mengharapkan ayit nanti..... :)

And when u grow up, dh boleh kahwin, jgn cari isteri mcm ibu...cari yg lebih baik, lebih beriman, lebih keibuan dr apa yg ayit nmpak pd ibu... :)

so that ibu akan tarik nafas lega, sbb ibu tahu cucu2 ibu akan membesar dgn baik....lebih baik keadaan mereka dr ayit...Insyaallah..... :)

My dear Nur Athirah Raisya,

You're my angel....sinar dlm hati ibu...mengandungkan tiya langsung tak beri masalah pd ibu...dr dlm perut ibu tahu tiya seorang yg kuat semangat...tiya independence, berani dan tak cepat mengalah...ibu tahu, sbb sedari tiya dlm perut ibu, kita dh lalui masalah besar sama2....tiya yg teman ibu pg ptg berulang alik ke umah yg jauh...tiya tahu ibu penat, tiya tak bg ibu sakit...dan tiya bg ibu peluang utk bersalin secara mana yg ibu impikan...senang membesarkan tiya....tak byk ragam, dan sgttt syg abg long....

Ibu minta maaf sbb waktu tiya jatuh sakit, ibu lambat dapat tahu...ibu patut lebih tahu dr org lain, sbb ibu ni ibu tiya....ibu minta maaf kalo sakit tu dtg dr ibu, atau kecuaian ibu...

Tiya 3 kali keluar masuk hospital...dh kering air mata tiya, air mata ibu...tp setiap kali tu lah, tiya cuba tahan...tiya kuat, sangat kuat....

Sekarang tiya dah besar. Dah jadi kakak. A good kakak you are. Alhamdulillah. 

Abglong &  kakak. 

Terima kasih sebab ada dalam hidup ibu. 

*safiyya punya entry kena asing. Panjang berjela satgi. Hahaha. 

20 weeks and half way done…. ;)

Assalammualaikum…

Time flies kan…one entry wrote that I’m expecting, another entry dh 20 weeks dah…hehehe…ci pun dh tak sedar bila masa melangkau sebegini cepat…the 1^st one, rasa mcm anticipated sgt…lambatnya masa jalan…one week to another tu mcm kura2…dr one trimester ke another mcm berzaman….tak sabar nak perut besar…

Mengandungkan Tiya, masa mcm sedikit cepat…dgn travel Kl-Seremban time tu…dgn ayit yg bru 1 tahun…nak layankan lasak dia, tumbesaran dia…proses pindah ke KL balik…tup2 dh nak bersalin….

And as expected, no 3 ni…zappp masa tinggalkan ci…I woke up with huge tummy…hehehe…but yes, secepat mana pun masa, ci still keep up dgn baby’s growth…aware dgn keadaan dia…dan sgt cautious about preparation utk menerima ahli keluarga baru utk ketiga kalinya…cautious tu tak bermakna dh siapkan smua…hehehe…ci tak siapkan apa2 pun lagi…haihhh…

Semalam, ci checkup kat Gombak Medical Centre…yup, tempat yg sama ci bersalinkan Tiya…jumpa doc yg sama juga, Dr. Fidak…I love her…she’s really calm…

So memula dia scan pregnancy history ci…

Doc: Ni anak ketiga la ye…rapat2 jugak ye….mmg awak tak plan ke?

Ci geleng2 sambil senyum penuh sopan…hehehe….

Doc: So, awak mmg plan utk get pregnant tahun ni la ye?

Ci angguk2 penuh kesopanan jugak….hehe…not really to get pregnant this year…tp nak baby on 2013. But Allah knows best… J

Lepas chitchat psl condition luaran, jeng3, tiba masa yg ibu semua nantikan…SCAN!!!

Memula ci nampak kepala baby adik…boleh tahan jugak lasak…keliut2…ibu je yg tak rasa lg…sebab bru masuk 20 weeks kan…sekali-sekala je rasa tendang…

Baby adik toleh kiri-kanan, mengeliat, mcm angkat doa pastu terus hisap jari…kkdg nmpak dia waving…Subhanallah…bertakung mata ci setiap kali tgk skrin doc…Doc Fidak lak mmg tak kedekut time, dia akan terangkan satu2 bahagian badan….and the most surprising bahagian, yes of coz, bahagian gender….

Soooo…..am I carrying a girl or a boy….is it going to be another Nur or Muhammad H… J

Ci ada firasat sendiri…but yes, pregnancy kali ni, smuaorg tak surprise sgt…sbb smuaorg dh leh agak….sbb ci tetiba jd terlampau rajinnn masak (hari2 masak…xpenah tapau)….sgt rajin masuk dapur….masak kek, kuih…name it...sama symptom mcm Tiya….hehehehe….

Sooo.....

So far, doc's prediction is a GIRL…. ;)

Another power girl in the house…..Insyaallah….. J

Could be she will look like this young lady??? hehehe...it's yours truly, Cici... ;)

Baby adik at 20 weeks....tgh hisap jari....the 1st day i uploaded this pic, she got 50 over likes on my fb....u're still halfway done dear, but already famous.... ;)

Ibu at 18 weeks (i guess) ;)

Lastly, baby's true protector, Abg Long and Kakak....prepare urself baby adik, lots of fun coming ur way once ur here with all of us.... ;)

Ibu doa baby adik sihat dan happy dlm ibu...i will do what ever i can to be the best ibu for you, Insyaallah.... :)

One...Two...Three... ;)

I can still remember the moment I got my pregnancy test ‘positive’ for the very first time…6/6/2008…tu pun after berbatang2 pregnancy test ci dh wat kat umah…badan makin tak larat, muntah…tp still negative…newlywed lagi time tu, baru sebulan lebih akad nikah, ci dh mengandungkan muhammad harith….ci dpt tau waktu ci buat upt kat laboratory uia…ci still igt muka staff yg bg ci result…still igt wajah kaklina yg nangis waktu dapat tau ci pregnen…ci igt suara hubby ci, mak n mak mertua ci waktu ci bgtau tru phone……Sweet…….. ;)

For my 2^nd pregnancy….ci dapat tahu tru home pregnancy test…ci beli dua batang sekali (time promo)…hehehe….test yang first, mmg clearly negative…badan tak rasa apa2, so ci pun tak la mengharap utk pregnant…tppppp…pelik mana pulak pegi ci punya period…huhuhu….so after few days, on 14/2/2010, ci wat upt kat umah mak ci, kat kedah (tgh bercutiii)…and the line was 2….punya la melompat suami isteri nih…heh, mmg kut kami jenis suka anak ramai…time ni, ayit bru masuk setahun..Few hours later, pergi checkup and doc confirmkan ci pregnant 5 weeks…. ;)

After 1 year and 7 months pregnant-free…the same question return, Am I pregnant??? Huhuhuhu….

1 year n 6 months, ci tak period….ci pegi mengurut dgn makcik yg sama mngurut ci utk ayit n tiya…makcik ani pesan ‘lepas ni, jaga jaga ye cici’…ci senyum je la….mmg tak plan utk pregnen any time soon pun…a month after, bru ci period…paranoid, annoyed by period, ci bersyukur takla sakit sgt, walaupun dh bertahun tak datang…

A month after period….it was supposed to be the day, but it never come….

A week….

After a week….

After the following week….

Yes….the question keep coming back….Am I pregnant? ;p

Then, comes the sickness….meloya…cravings….muntah…letih….mengantuk….normal symptoms….lg la buat ci rasa pelik…the most pelik was, kenapa perut ci jd sgtttt bloating…almost buncit… haih….

One thing about cici, selalu rasa ‘pregnancy’ symptom above everything…cthnya, kalo dh muntah, bukan nak fikir salah makan…ci akan fikir ‘ci pegnen kah?’ hahahaha…sooo typical of me… ;p

So, dgn rasa bertanggungjawab, naluri penuh keibuan, ci pun beli pregnancy test…the one yg kita kena drop atas batang…the result was, yes…a double line…tppp line dia sgttttttt SAMAR …I was sooo sure, but the stick say almost a No answer….hmmm….few hours lepas tu, ci pegi kinik, nak sahkan that stick….so, doctor kata, kita buat lg sekali test…..

It was negative…..

Deeeepppp down dlm hati, rasa mcm ‘ehhh, if I’m not pregnant, what’s wrong with me???’…haaaa, dh mula la saspek yg bukan2….cyst la, ovary infection la….haihhh…

Few days after that…on 14^th May 2012….ci decided to test using digital pregnancy test…the one yg tulis pregnant or not pregnant tu…

Here’s the result…….

Never thought in a millon years, ci diberi anugerah utk mengandung lagi sekali…utk kali ketiga dalam hidup ci…..super happy….

Tapi…..

Notice number 1-2 kat stick tu? Itu bgtau yg date conception 1-2 weeks…so kalo kiraan doctor, bru 3-4 minggu baby ci…awalllll sgttt lg….

Ci pun bawak stick ni tunjuk kat doctor ptg yg sama (sbb screen dia maintained tulisan tu 24 hours aje)…Doc kata ‘hmmmm…kita scan la…kalo tak nmpak pape, kita buat test lg skali’

Dup dap dup dap Allah sj yang tahu….

Waktu scan, kantung baby dh ada…tp baby xnmpak pape….ada mcm bnda kecik, tp doc takleh nak pastikan…..so, doctor mintak ci wat test urine lg skali….

The result was double line….still samar, tapi agak clear dr yg memula….

Soklan yg ci tnya doctor ‘Am I still pregnant doc?’ Her answer ‘50/50’ *sigh*

Hmm….ci start makan folic asid n b complex….jaga makan…jaga kesihatan…and live like usual….tanak terlalu mengharap, yet, tanak terlalu free sgt… ;)

Jika ada rezeki ci, dah tertulis….ci tawakal dan redha….

If rezeki ci utk anak ke -3….Alhamdulillah……Tiya, u’re a big sister la….. ;)

The Toughest Job... ;-)

Seronok tgk fb updates seharian nih...kwn2 dpt bunga, dpt hadiah, dpt kad, surprise this n that...terharu yet tumpang happy...i heard yg hari ibu ni xleh celeb sbb meraikan hari kristian (forgot the details)...but hey, we just need a day to celeb the greatness of the toughest job in the world- to b a Mother.... ;-)

Reminding me of my own self...ibu kpd dua org baby yg masih sgt sgt clingy dgn ci siang n mlm...it wasnt an easy job actually...so nk bg credit ckit kt diri sndiri...sbb membesarkan anak2 jauhhhhh dr any support system (families)... ;-)

I gave up rest time...tido yg nyenyak dh jd mcm mustahil...no more outing ke tempat2 yg menyeronokkan tp bkn baby frenly...gave up heels, fancy outfit (skrg pkai baju yg senang nk nyusu ajee)...selalunya akan mkn apa yg anak2 mkn...n no rest after long hours of works....the list is longer but just nk bgtau the situation... :-P

Walau apa punnnn kesusahan yg srg ibu harus lalui...ini yg ci impikan sejak kecik...i want to be a mother....walaupun dlm hari2 teenagers ci yg penuh dgn ketidakpastian, satu shj yg ci pasti, ci nak jd srg ibu....ci even belum boleh bayang siapa suami ci time tu, tp ci dh bayangkan diri ci dukung bayi, main dgn anak2...huhuhu....partly maybe sbb ci anak bongsu, so ci xdak privilege utk jaga adik, sbb tu tingin sangat nak anak sendiri...i just love to b a mother...i need to b one.... ;-)

Here i am today... A strungling mother of two...ibu yg sentiasa paranoid bila apa2 jd kat anak2...yg cepat marah yet cepat pujuk balik...yg akan sentiasa jd tempat utk dipeluk bila majuk...wajah yg terakhir yg anak2 tgk bila nak tido, wajah yg pertama drg tgk bila bangun.... :-)

Ci mula menghargai jasa mak lebihhh bila ci sndiri dah jd mak....dr saat mengandung smpai lah melahirkan....membesar dan mendidik...was not an easy job indeed....

Ci doa, dgn rahmat dan nikmat yg Allah kurniakan kpd ci...dgn amanah yg Allah beri...ci doa utk jadi ibu yg terbaik kpd anak2...supaya bila mereka besar, mereka akan igt dan faham dan kenal siapa ibu di mata mereka.... ;-)

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New Me..... ;)

Dear blog.....sorry sebab pinggirkan kamu forrr such a longgg time.....nak update tak sempat...nak belek pon tak sempat.... *sigh*

But yes, new project will be launch new month....i pray for the best...lepas ni, kena selalu update...kena selalu blogging...kena selaluuu online...yippy... ;)

Bila ada positive push, baru la seronok nak bergerak....

My followers, you'll be reading about me, soon...... ;)

Love all, yours truly; Cici....

Btw, suka layout bru ci tak? Paisleyyy gitewwww... ;)

My charlie n princess tiya.... ;-)

Ayit dah nak masuk 3 tahun bulan Januari ni...Tiya lak dah setahun 2 bulan...masa mmg betul2 'terbang' kan....whooshhh.... ;-)

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Inspired....

Assalammualaikum....

Hello world!!!! ;-)

What a hectic months...what a hectic week!!! Fhewww.... :-P

Weekend ci penuh dgn classes. In fact smlm dgn td pon ada class. Dah separuh nyawa kkdg tu...tp Alhamdulillah, my study went really well. I got full mark utk test siang tadi! Tak sangka jugak. Dalam dok tido setiap kali bkk buku tu...dlm dok ngelat nk bc dgn alasan anak2 kacau...dlm xdak masa nk study n even wat assignment...huhuhu...at least, ci leh letak diri sebaris dgn student lain yg still bujang n muda n ada privilage which is MASA...

Somehow, ci got inspired by kakak2 senior ci yg dh kawen n ada yg berusia dr ci...tp still going strong...probably ci nk inspire married women yg lain; utk berani amik risiko...yes, pengorbanan mmg besar...kita mmg akan penat letih bagai...tp when there's a will, there's always a way.... ;-)

I was a college dropout...wlaupun bkn kna kick kluar, but still ci xberjaya abiskan pelajaran ci. Tu bukan alasan ci utk tidak move on n do nothing about it, kan...yes, i am married with two babies...tp lg lama ci tgu, lg jauh impian ci lari...

I used to b ashamed with myself lpas tgk kenkawan lain dh berjaya. Tp ci sndiri kn faham...aturan Allah sgt hebat.... ;-)

Oh howww i missed my bloggg...Insyallah will find time utk update lagii... ;-)

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